2nd Ukrainian adoption referral has also failed

Hi all,





Sorry it took so long for us to post regarding our 2nd referral. There is virtually no high speed internet available anywhere in this city - or at least we haven't found any. We just happened to jury rig a medievel dial up connection from our hotel room. 56kps only gives us limited email access. There is no chance of uploading pictures, video, or doing anything with attachments or links while we're still in this city. But 1990s-internet is better than nothing.




The roads were heavily congested this weekend. On Friday it took us 6 hours to make the normally 4 1/2 hour drive from Kiev to this city of Khmelnytsky. In fact it took one hour just to get out of the city of Kiev. Traffic was THAT bad.





We arrived at Khmelnytsky Friday afternoon and after securing the neccesary government paperwork from the regional inspector, proceeded to the orphanage. Because it was a Friday - a work day that always "unofficially" ends just after lunch - most of the orphanage buildings were virtually deserted by the time we got there. It took some time but we finally snagged a Doctor who could confer with us regarding the two sisters. Right away my heart sank as the Doctor began rattling off a list of medical issues about these two little girls; medical issues that were conveniently missing from their State Department (SDA) file (all I could think of was "...please....not again"). Then we met the little girls themselves. They were both cute but it became immediately obvious that once again, we were given referrals of children that could only be classified as "special needs". We still stayed at the orphanage and played with the girls for over an hour. The oldest sister had such a sweet personality. She was not shy in the least and laughed easily. Within minutes after meeting us she ordered me in Ukrainian to "sit here" and then climbed into my lap and produced a book for me to read. The two girls were fascinated and laughed out loud when we blew bubbles around them. Then we got a good laugh when the older one tried to blow them herself. She was also awed by my digital camera and loved it when I took her picture and then showed it to her. Of course as is the case with any little kid, she was also prone to "brat attacks". She didn't like the fact that she wasn't allowed to play with our pretty, purple notepad. I suppose that regardless of country, kids will be kids...





But the medical issues were very apparent and it frustrated and even angered us that they were either downplayed at our Thursday SDA appointment or outright missing from the girls" files. During our time with the girls we even thought that we saw a few anomalies that weren't mentioned either in their files or by the local Doctor.





During the course of our visit I took about 20 digital pictures and almost a dozen minutes of digital video that I wanted to upload to our International Adoption Clinic for their evaluations. If these two were special needs kids, Shirley and I knew that we'd be way over our heads. We still wanted the professionals to view what we had before we made a final decision. But despite our crisscrossing this entire section of the city, there was virtually no high speed internet anywhere. Regardless, 24 hours later we just made our own decision without consultation from the Clinic. We still managed a telephone call to the Clinic and gave ample descriptions of both girls. Just from what the Doctor told us, Shirley and I knew that we couldn't care for them both. We are by no means professionals and it is possible that many of our own theories regarding these kids were way off base. The pros could have corrected that had they had the pics and video to observe. But our gut instinct said that we're wasting our time with this sibling group. So our decision was to reject the referral.





It is another tough decision and needless to say we're not taking it too well. Our frustration level with the SDA is astronomical. I was a State Worker in New Jersey for years and am perfectly familiar with sloppy government work but New Jersey is a model of efficiency compared to Ukraine. Shirley is understandably angry that we wasted so much time and money to come out here on another wild goose chase. Had we been able to contact the orphanage directly from the SDA to get the facts, we either would not have made this trip or would have made it with a better picture in our brains as far as what to expect. Either way would have been a better scenario. But that didn't happen. So now here we sit, stranded in another city wasting another weekend while we wait for Monday so that we can do the formal paperwork thing and return to Kiev.




And just today we caught the SDA giving more disinformation. Anyone who reviews referrals for adoption knows that it doesn't look good if a referral has been seen and rejected by a lot of families. On Thursday we were told that no one else has ever seen these sisters; we were the first. Just today we read in another blog that last week another couple did see these two sisters - Bogdana and Ivanka - and rejected them. And they may have been seen and rejected by another family back in November. Chalk it up towards more honesty for the SDA.



Shirley and I are so frustrated - we already said to ourselves several times today that we really just want to tell the driver to pack his car with our stuff - take us directly to the airport in Kiev and get us out of Dodge. We're sick of being bled of our money, time and emotions. But we also know that if we skip out now without at least trying for a 3rd appointment, we will never forgive ourselves in the future. When it comes to 2nd guessing ourselves, Shirley and I are the worst there is! So thats where we stand now. We'll be Kiev-bound on Monday to start from Square One.





I have an old college buddy who lived in Ukraine for years and has been following our blog. He recommended that I go to the American Embassy in Kiev to voice our concerns. The American Councel sets aside a couple hours a day (I believe its 2pm-4pm) to hear from Americans. While I didn't consider this when I first heard it, I am certainly reconsidering it now. I doubt that it will affect our outcome but at least there will be official documentation about this situation somewhere. After reading so many other blogs about adopting from Ukraine, I know that we are not alone. With only a handful of exceptions, every blog I've read tells the same story.



Our facilitator was very uplifting and says that he will push for a faster appointment date than the 2 weeks it took the last time to get us an appointment. I just hope that its not all in vain.





Well thats it for now. Sorry to post on such a depressing note. Thanks again to everyone for their love and support. I also want to thank those of you whom we've never met but who are following our Ukraine adoption blog. If you have a blog and have it set to private, please feel free to "invite" us to your page so that we can view and comment on your blog as well. You can get our email address off of our profile right here.





Thanks again to all and God bless...








Steve

A new Ukrainian adoption referral

Greetings from Ukraine,

On this cold, snowy Thursday afternoon we had our 2nd appointment with the State Department (SDA) at 2pm. During our meeting we were shown several files of children available for international adoption. Just like during our 1st appointment on March 3rd, most of the referrals that we reviewed were for very sick kids that could only be classified as "special needs". But there was one particular file that stood out as more promising than the rest, so we decided to pursue it further. This joint file was for a sibling group. Two sisters, ages 4 and 2. According to the file there are some physical issues with both of the two little girls but we want to be able to see them first hand and report to our International Adoption Clinic back home so that they can make their own evaluations. Just from our brief experience here in Ukraine, I know better than to accept all SDA file information verbatim. Not to mention the fact that now we're psyched; since there is some potential here we just want to see these cute, little ones for ourselves.

We will be meeting the two sisters sometime tomorrow (Friday). We secured the neccesary paperwork here at the Kiev end of the red tape maze and will be making the 200 mile trip to the city of Khmelnytsky in Western Ukraine at 8;30am tomorrow. We don't know what our internet access is going to be like in the new city so its possible that there may not be another post for a couple of days. But we'll do our best to keep in touch.


Shirley and I have an overall good feeling about this referral but we are also cautious. We don't want to be disappointed by another letdown. Not to mention, we don't want to jinx ourselves.


In other news, our pizza dinner scheduled for yesterday took place today instead. The restaurant did a good job; homemade pizza crust and all. I took a nice pic of my wife wolfing down a slice and was promised that if I posted that picture to this blog, I would face death by dismemberment. Therefore you people are going to have to settle for a pic of just some pizza. Sorry but it's the only picture that I took today! Or put it this way; the only picture that I am allowed to post.





The weather here has been very Ohio-like. Today we had snow. Tomorrow the temperature will probably be a springlike 60 degrees or so.



We'll keep you all posted.







S&S

Wednesday March 19th - the day before our 2nd appointment

Hi all,

Today we were not expecting any telephone calls nor to get ready for any hastily prepared meetings. So we opted to relax and walk around our adopted neighborhood. We weren't even sure how much longer we were to be here anyway.

It was surprisingly cold and windy out with snow flurries stinging our faces but we didn't feel like spending another day in our apartment. We took a walk to St. Michael's Square and into the St. Michael Church. We wanted to start the day by offering a prayer and lighting a candle for our 2nd appointment tomorrow (Thursday). There was a Church service going on when we walked in. I wasn't entirely sure what type of service that it was - could have been a "mid day hours" service that I've seen before in Orthodox Monasteries but I wasn't sure. Regardless, we lit our candle, offered a prayer or two (or twenty), then left - stopping briefly to give a little money to a couple of local beggers. I liked the fact that the first thing these two begger women did was to cross themselves and offer thanks to God for their gift. It made me want to go back and give more. If I see them again, I will.

After leaving St. Michael Church we took a walk to the nearby Andrivcsky's Market - the same outdoor market we went to on Saturday when I posted those pictures of all the artwork. There were only a fraction of the displays out on the street today compared to Saturday. I saw some of the same paintings that I'd fallen in love with on Saturday, but that nagging logistics problem still remained; how to transport this stuff back to the States intact. There were some smaller items in other booths that we thought would make nice souvenirs and went on to check them out. The Market had its share of pullover shirts saying "Kiev" or "Ukraine" in a number of different languages. Not very original if you ask me. I'm sure that if I looked hard enough I could probably find someone in Columbus who could make a shirt that says "Kiev" or "Ukraine" in whatever language I chose. Shirley was also on the lookout for some trinkets and especially loved those nested Matrushka dolls; the kind where there is an entire "family" of dolls all layered into one. She wants to buy one for our daughter who will hopefully appreciate it when she gets older and so she was keeping an eye out for them at the market. To be honest, those matrushkas are so cute that Shirley probably oughta keep that fragile, piece of art for herself. Instead give the kid something more indestructable, like a stuffed animal wearing a Buckeyes uniform.

We browsed over to some of the smaller stands. At one point we were greeted by a young merchant who spoke English, although haltingly. He had some cute religious artifacts that caught my eye. He also had what looked like some leftover military attire from another era. They included an old Soviet army hat and an overcoat. There also looked like some military belts. There was a belt buckle and a few other items with a hammer and sickle on it. But then he pointed to a back shelf that had Shirley's beloved matrushkas. You can see them all lined up in the picture to the right. They were of varying quality; right away you could tell the nicer ones from the cheapies. The nicer dolls were handpainted whereas the El cheapoes had decals. The nicer dolls also had each doll layer painted uniquely whereas the cheaper ones all had the same basic design. They came in 5 and 7 layer dolls (NOTE; matrushkas never come in even numbers). There was one matrushka that stood out; an entire "family" of 7 dolls all within one. It was handpainted. Every family member had its own unique design. It was also "signed" by the original artist. Shirley fell head over heels for it and within minutes after we'd gotten to this kid's booth, the matrushka was her's to keep.

Plus I felt sorry for that kid. He was doing his darndest to make a sale in the freezing cold. The least we could do was help his livelihood for that day. Maybe he got to go home after we made our purchase. Who knows...

Tonight we're thinking of having an American dinner. Pizza. If we have a successful appointment tomorrow than we may be leaving Kiev shortly. No sooner do we find that we may be leaving when we discover a small pizza joint less than two blocks from our apartment. Come all the way to Ukraine just to eat pizza? Well we've done worse. Our first week here Shirley and I actually went to a McDonalds.

Meanwhile we wait and hope for good referrals tomorrow (Thursday). The more we read the blogs of other families adopting from Ukraine, the more it seems to us that obtaining a good referral is a matter of timing. Its purely hit or miss. Hopefully by this time tomorrow there will be some good news to tell.

Bye for now.
Steve

P.S. - Check out the pics of the matrushka to the right. Isn't it adorable?

Tuesday March 18

Greetings all,





After waiting around our apartment for most of the day we finally got a telephone call from our facilitator with some promising news. We do have a 2nd appointment with the State Department (SDA) set for this Thursday afternoon. We don't know what kind of files that we're going to be shown but we're at least hopeful that this time around we're going to be shown more than files of special needs kids.



We've read blogs of other families looking to adopt from Ukraine and it seems that for those people who have had appointments during the past week or so, they've had much better luck than we had the week before. Lets hope that the luck holds through Thursday.





Although we've gotten antsy waiting for our 2nd appointment, I will say that we have become attached to our apartment here in Kiev. Here are a few pics of our "humble abode". As you can see it is actually nothing more than a modest one bedroom apartment. The living area is spacious and there is a small kitchen. Its all that we really need. We also have a bedroom and a balcony that is attached to the rear of the apartment.





Our facilitator will be out of town tomorrow so tomorrow we'll be left to our own devices. We may go back to Andrevsky's market to re-examine some more potential souveniers. Shirley also wants to go back to one of the Churches to light a candle for hope. That sounds like a good idea to me.





Again this is another small post. Count your blessings!!!








Steve

Monday March 17th - Happy St. Patrick's Day

We met with our facilitator at just before noon today and as we half expected, there is no news for us as far as a new referral. Our facilitator plans to be at the State Department (SDA) office when they open tomorrow (Tuesday) morning in the hopes that something new develops towards potential child referrals. It didn't totally surprise me that there was no news; its still been less than a week since we've requested a 2nd appointment. Plus is the sad fact that referrals for little girls are so much more difficult to come by. On the other hand we've been in this apartment for more than a week now and are ready for something to happen.





It seems as though the SDA is going through an overhaul of sorts. During recent weeks a lot of the top brass had been replaced by a new Administration and the effect is currently trickling down. I know that during the day of our original appointment on March 3rd, there was a new Director interviewing a lot of the SDA staff while we all were waiting for our appointment interviews. At the time we didn't think a whole lot of it. Now we've learned that the actual psychologist that interviewed us a few weeks ago has been relieved of her position by this new Director. I do remember that she was one of the people who was being interviewed by the new Director on the same day that she interviewed us. According to our facilitator, she was pretty uptight about it.






We didn't plan any real touring of the city in the hopes that we'd get positive news from the SDA. About the only activity for today was a grocery store run. Since now we know we'll at least be here for a few more days it only made sense to stock our shelves. The grocery store is at the foot of a hill that leads into St. Michael Square. How could I possibly leave this post without including another picture of the St. Michael Bell Tower.




We also saw a sign that Coke has made headway into this former Soviet Republic as well. I wonder what the local babushkas think of all of these colorful western ads invading their motherland.





We'll keep you posted with tomorrow's word from the SDA. Meanwhile we're here in our Kiev apartment, trying to appreciate our once in a lifetime trip to an Eastern European city.





Be well and God bless....









Steve

Week 3 opener...

As part of today's post we thought that we'd throw in a few interesting pics taken from around the city. First of all it seems as though the celebration of St. Patrick's Day doesn't go unobserved here in Kiev either. At least thats the impression that we got when we first saw this advertisement for an Irish Pub here in Ukraine.








You have also heard Shirley and I describe the traffic and parking scenarios as very typically Europe. As for me it reminds me of the chaotic streets of Greece. One thing we notice here that we've never seen in the States is the Ukrainian attitude towards parking. If no parking spot is available on the street, the Ukrainians don't think twice about pulling onto the sidewalk and parking a vehicle there. Here is a pic showing cars parked both on the street and on the sidewalk.






Finally this ominous nightshot is of the KGB Headquarters here in Kiev. Reminiscent of the Cold War, the KGB still plays a role in anti-crime scenarios such as against the powerful Russian Mafia. As for taking this picture itself, so far no one has come knocking on our door. ;-P






We are having a late morning meeting with our facilitator tomorrow (Monday). He says that he hopes to have some kind of news for us. We're getting a little antsy here ourselves and are hoping for the same. But we're used to weathing it all here.





Hope everyone had a nice weekend.











Steve and Shirley