We're finally back

God bless America

Home Sweet Home

DELTA AIRLINES got us home from Kiev relatively quick. Everything went like clockwork. Hearing English spoken amongst the people surrounding us for the first time in weeks was like music to our ears. I also couldn't help but notice that unlike processing us for the international flight that left New York, here in Kiev just the boarding part from the gate to the plane started almost 2 hours early. All passengers were herded into a small room in between gate and aircraft and spent nearly 90 minutes standing there. I guess that is how an American-based airline deals with the consistent tardiness of Eastern Europeans. Anyone arriving late.....tough.


We only had one three hour layover in New York. Just as well. We needed most of those three hours to get through passport control, baggage claim, customs, and then finally we had to make it to the gate for our connecting flight. Thankfully we had just a little spare time for a quick Burger King fix (2 fish sandwiches + 2 diet cokes = $15. WELCOME TO NEW YAWK!). The overall travel time from our apartment in Kiev to our house in Ohio was a little less than 16 hours. Thats quick compared to other slightly less expensive flights where there would have been more stops as well as switching airlines. I never went for that and always preferred to stay with the same airline; switching always seemed to increase the chances of lost luggage. But even though we opted for the fastest route possible, 16 hours is still a long ride. Long rides mean lots of time to think.


Our return was bittersweet. Of course we're happy to be back. We miss the familiarity of home and family. We miss American efficiency. We do NOT miss being misled by a xenophobic, anti-American government. Nor do we miss spending $80-$100/night for apartments which if you do the math, comes out to more money than the monthly rent paid for an apartment in Manhatten. But despite the fact that we're happy to be back, our homecoming was empty and painful. When we got home we were greeted by my inlaws. The second they laid eyes on each other, both Shirley and her Mom burst into tears. We went back to our house, were warmly greeted by our dog, had some belated birthday ice cream cake, and were then left alone to unpack our several suitcases and commence downtime for our emotional recovery.


I can only compare what we're feeling to the mourning associated with a funeral. No the pain isn't nearly equivelant to the loss of a loved one - nothing can equate to that. But just as when mourning a death, the sorrow comes in waves. One minute you're at peace and then next you're crying. I can't count how many times during our flight, I'd glance over to my wife to say something only to see her staring out the window with tears streaming down her face. All of the pondering, the 20/20 hindsight and the "what if's" become obsessive. We were robbed of the dream of coming home with a child. We've been at the airport when others have come home with their children from abroad and have shared their happines. And at the risk of sounding selfish, we were ready for our turn. Not just the homecoming at the airport but all of it. My parents have been given three grandsons by my two sisters and I couldn't wait to visit New Jersey and proudly parade their new granddaughter - my daughter - around the family. I knew that she would have been everyone's Princess. For now though, its still only a dream.


Shirley and I have by no means given up hope for children. We have had discussions with both America World as well as other Agencies concerning adoptions from countries that aren't Ukraine but for the time being we have no desire to look into anything international. We have checked out other options though. Since coming home we've already contacted children's services in different counties across Ohio as well as a few neighboring states. Their workers sounded thrilled and even surprised that we're willing to consider children - other than infants - that need to be placed. Mostly healthy children or children with minor issues; children that we would have gladly accepted had we seen these types of referrals in Ukraine. The children services people are ready to help us with procedures and paperwork. They are very appreciative and encouraging and although we plan to stay in downtime mode for at least the foreseeable future, this is definitely one option that we'll be exploring. I know that I am making the children's services path seem easy; social worker friends of ours have warned us that this road can also get a little bumpy. But compared to the quagmire that we've just been through, anything by comparison will seem like a Church picnic. I am still determined to parade my daugher through our Greek ghetto in New Jersey. That will one day become a reality!


Despite the sad ending to our experience, I still can't help but have a little fun with you all. In case anyone can't tell after the past 6 weeks worth of posts, I am a camera buff. I am always clicking away because I love preserving memories. In fact let me put it this way, when it comes to the camera I am a pest. I've loved the camera since taking my first picture. It was back in 19?? when my Mom was pregnant with my youngest sister who is now age....(ahem...I'd better not say). Anyhow, to those still in Ukraine finalizing their adoptions, I thought that I'd post a few pics of home to remind you of what will be waiting for you after the big homecoming. Here is a pic of the washer and dryer at our house. Yes...A DRYER!! Remember them? To anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, Ukrainians don't believe in dryers. They believe in washing clothes and then hanging the wash out to dry. At this time of the year, there is no place to hang clothes except in the living room. And the low quality spin cycle of most washers there means that your dripping clothes are going to be decorating the living room for quite a while - at least a day. Of course one option is to just not wash clothes. I have a feeling that this is the option many choose to go with. It only took a few days for Shirley to notice that people were wearing the same thing day in and day out. I guess when you think about it, not washing clothes is the economical way to go.

Here are a few other pics of some familiar sites. McDonalds, KFC and Wendy's (Wendy's originated in Ohio, so I had to include that one in the KFC pic). And lets not forget good ole Tim Hortons. The best hot coffee around. Beats the battery acid that we were drinking for 5+ weeks (even I had to put cream in it). And yes, Tim Horton's donuts are always fresh. Not like those week-old buttered rolls that can be thrown through a wall. If you're from a part of the USA that has no Tim Hortons, you could say that they're Ohio's version of Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme. Regardless, its good stuff.

Again, thanks for all of the comments left on the blog. Thanks for all of your compassion. Thanks for the personal emails. Thanks, thanks and thanks. I can't thank you all enough. You've been great with all of the support. And I will continue to post as well as to read the blogs of others.


Be well and God bless...





Steve